A client was having a very difficult time letting go of anger and bitterness. As a result, her relationships were falling apart, her business was suffering, and her co-workers were starting to resent her at her part-time job. She came to me desperate, wanting a single session, hoping that by some miracle, she would be free from pain.
What was she so angry about? Well, many things. A relationship was over that wasn’t her decision. A son had overdosed. Her bills were piling up, and with her relationship over, she was struggling. Her second job was “killing her” – her words. Life had thrown her a curve ball, or several, and she was, in a word, “pissed!”
Let’s call my client, “Sue.” Sue is a spiritual person, but she was replacing faith with rage. We’ve all had this happen at some point in our lives. We are human. But, what can start to happen is that living in the energy of anger will only give us more things to become angry about, AND, anger breeds hatred. So, if we aren’t careful, hate can begin to fill us, and sometimes it’s so insidious that we don’t realize we are living in “hatred energy,” until someone else points it out. (Hint: Depression is hatred turned inward.)
After our first session, Sue wasn’t feeling any better. She wasn’t really interested in seeing me again, because the “quick fix” she admitted she wanted wasn’t found. I felt prompted to really urge her to return. After several months of more agony, she reluctantly came back to see me.
“Allyson! Help me! I can’t live like this anymore!”
Thankfully, the morning of her session, I had received an exercise for her to do, which I will share with you now, to help her overcome some of her anger. You see, we must MAKE A DECISION with our anger. It doesn’t just magically go away.
I told Sue to close her eyes and picture herself holding a very large, very red balloon. I told her to allow the balloon to drape over her legs and fall onto the floor. Now, I want you to start blowing up this balloon in your mind. Don’t stop until it’s full.
Sue opened her eyes, “But, I won’t have any air left! That will take me all day! I’m only here for an hour!”
“Exactly,” I said. “This is your anger. This is what your anger takes from you every single day. You wake up either depressed or pissed. You walk around with this gigantic balloon, and all your air, time, and energy is spent blowing it up. Your only focus is this balloon. You carry it in your car, your house, your work, your business, the store, the salon….dragging this old, dirty, useless balloon around with you everywhere you go. You want someone to take it from you. It doesn’t work that way.”
Sue sat very silent and allowed that to sink in. “You’re right, Allyson; but, how do I let it go? What do I do to get rid of it?”
“Drop it! When you start to feel angry, or so sad that you can’t get out of bed, picture the red balloon in bed with you, covering you, and simply move it away from you. Get up, give thanks for three things as you walk to the bathroom. Give thanks for three things as you brush your teeth – the water, the toothpaste, the toothbrush. Give thanks as you walk to your closet. Give thanks as you dress.”
We both knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Breaking out of anger takes work! Sometimes we need professional help, too, and that is perfectly okay. Whatever it takes to get your life back is worth getting your life back!
Sue still sees me, but now it’s for maintenance. She’s thankful, grateful, and occasionally angry, because that is healthy, but Sue is Sue again. I asked her if I could share her story, and she was excited for me to offer her “red balloon” exercise to you. She hopes you can use it, just as she did, to see where your energy is going, and to help you release it.