Just as You Are
Authenticity. It’s a word that continues to buzz around on social media and in gatherings where people want to understand more about the essence of being human. Brene’ Brown shares that in order to be authentic we must cultivate the courage to be imperfect. I couldn’t agree more. There are more layers to this, though, so let’s get started.
The most authentic people I come across are those that choose to live in the moment. They truly are in the present, and it shows by their willingness to put away their mobile devices, laptops, and other distractions, turn down the music, and engage fully no matter how trivial the conversation. Great listeners are authentic.
They know who they are, with nothing to prove or protest, so they listen to you carefully, and respond to you without knee-jerk reactions to triggers – even when they feel triggered. The first time I was introduced to this concept, I thought it sounded rather robotic and, honestly, quite fake. I thought, “What is authentic about not having an emotional response to something someone says?” After meditating on it, I came to realize that the behavior is not in an effort to be authentic, it’s a result of it. An authentic person genuinely wants to be engaged.
Because they can. They are also genuinely calm. Authenticity gives us the freedom to take very little personally. This doesn’t mean we don’t feel angry or disappointed. It simply means that those emotions come from the present moment, not from things that trigger us from the past.
Here’s the secret ingredient. This authentic communication is not just about others. When you begin to have honest communication with yourself, turning off electronics, putting away laptops, and turning down the noise inside your head in exchange for listening to your heart, then you can’t help but hear the truth. The more you learn about yourself, the more authentic you become. The second layer to this is your past. Here is where much gets lost in the quest for authenticity.
Most of us close the door on our past leaving behind (or so we think) our mistakes. We close the door so hard, in fact, that we refuse to open it again. To be truly authentic, the first step must involve owning and loving your past. There is no way around this one. It’s impossible to feel shame for things you’ve done in the past and have peace in the present. The two don’t go together. You can’t fake it, either. Any shame you feel is expressed in your actions one way or another.
I want to help you out by giving you THREE TIPS to help you embrace your past to become more authentic in the present.
You cannot authentically be in the present if you are still judging your younger self, or those involved in your past. Instead, find some way to be thankful (and really mean it) for the decisions you made. You made them for a reason. Yes, it may have caused a detour, but you cannot know rising unless you fall.
As cliché as it may sound, one of the easiest ways to embrace your past and heal is to give thanks for every part of it. Look at your current life. It’s not possible for you to be standing where you are today had you not taken the path to get here. Any deviation would have placed you somewhere else. You are always exactly where you need to be, with the exact right people, in the exact right time. Accepting this opens an entirely new world.
Accept the Pain
Minimizing any pain from your past is a great disservice to yourself. It also creates the need to relive the pain on a subconscious level, so you will continue to create scenarios in your life that feel very similar to your past. Once you accept the pain, and deal with it, you can break patterns and begin to be your truest self.
If this moved you in some way, please feel free to share it with your tribe. I’d also love for you to share some time with me every other Monday on Facebook for free intuitive guidance. The guidance is short and to the point and provided to help you find the magic inside of you.
You can find the sessions here www.facebook.com/experienceoutrageousfreedom
Until I see you again, I wish you much joy, peace, love and, of course, outrageous freedom!